


The Hamgang House

by Kunoichirin



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: And Everyone Else is in Their Late Twenties, And James Deserves It, And So is Theodosia, Angelica Eliza and Peggy Have Sister Time, But His Mom Sure Doesn't, James and Peggy are Randomly Best Friends, Jefferson vs. Hamilton, John Gets Hit in the Head A LOT, Lafayette Pulls Some Crazy Shit, Lafayette Speaks a Lot of French, Lafayette Stumbles Over English Sometimes, M/M, Memes, Mulligan and Laurens are the Source of Most Pranks and Stuff Joined by Lafayette Most of the Time, Peggy is Random and Weird, Phillip Thinks He's Mature, Phillip is Nine By the Way, Prank Wars, There's Some Tickling Because I'm Shit I'm Sorry I Couldn't Help It, What The Hell Have I Done, drunk people, it's cute, warning: bad puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 16:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20727635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunoichirin/pseuds/Kunoichirin
Summary: Set in a modern setting.Everyone lives in the same house because it was cheaper that way.This has no plot, it's just to laugh at.Comedy, y'know?I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THIS PLEASE DO NOT READ!!





	The Hamgang House

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some weird shorts written by me, just because.
> 
> (Also, in case you were curious, Eliza only agreed to John joining the family because Phillip pleaded along with Alex. And so she can say 'This is my husband, Alexander. And this is his husband, John.')

"WHAT THE HELL YOU _MEAN_ 'IT'S JUST A PRANK'?!" Burr shouted as Hercules and John fought to keep straight faces. After all, who _could_ when the person shouting at them was soaked in ice water they had previously balanced on his door.

"It was just-" John cut off laughing, his voice a higher pitch than usual because of his hilarity. It became too hard too stand, and he collapsed on the floor laughing so hard he could barely breath.

Hercules had started laughing too, but he had better control over his humor. While John couldn't stop laughing. Eventually, he could barely _even_ laugh.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!?" Burr continued ranting, only making John laugh harder, rolling on the floor.

"I think he thinks it's funnier that _you_ were the one who fell for it. And your face is redder than his right now." Hercules explained, laughing along with John. Burr cocked an eyebrow.

Only a few seconds later, Alex came running down the hall. "What is going _on _up here?" He asked. Upon seeing Burr soaked and shivering, and his boyfriend rolling on the floor laughing his head off. "...Ohh..." He glanced back down the hall. "Lafayette, I could use some help up here!"

Soon, Lafayette was next to Alex, his shoulders quivering as he tried not to join the two doofuses laughing. "Herc, John, vhat did you do?" Burr held up the bucket and dropped it on John's head. The curly haired boy curled up, clutching where he'd been hit, but still laughing uncontrollably. "Oh."

"What is _with_ you guys?" They all turned (except John) to see Angelica coming down the second story stairs, with a sleeping mask on her untamed curls, rubbing her eyes. "It's three twenty-five in the morning, why are you even awake? Honestly, you're all so immature."

Eliza shortly followed, and upon laying eyes on John rolling around on the floor, said, "Phillip, what are you doing out of bed?"

"That's John, sweetie." Alex corrected.

"Oh." She sighed. "Still. What're all of you doing out of bed?"

"Prank." Lafayette explained.

"Of course." Angelica breathed. "You five; go to bed."

"I was ABOUT to, when THESE clown came and RUINED it." Burr grumbled. "You're lucky it was _me _who opened the door, and not my dear Theodosias."

"How are they even still sleeping?" John laughed, finally standing, and leaning against Alex, trying to fully calm down.

"They are _extremely_ heavy sleepers." He answered reluctantly. John broke down again, but muffled it in Alex's shoulder. Alex gently pat him on the head.

"Peggy is the same, except she snores. Really, really loudly." Eliza nods. "Phillip can only sleep if he falls asleep before her."

"Now everyone GO TO BED." Angelica ordered. Everyone obeyed without question.

~That Morning~

Lafayette had only slept for another three hours before he got up and started breakfast (after getting an unwanted splash of ice water. He'd gone around taking down all the other buckets and putting them all above Hercules because John slept with Alex that night).

His messy bun was sagging, and dripping on the floor as he cooked a large batch of eggs, toast, and croissants. He had one of Herc's hoodies on, and pajama pants. Which were dripping wet.

He arranged the breakfast on the table, grabbed a croissant, and headed to the stairs to get the others.

"Boo!"

"AAAHH!!" Lafayette screeched, barely not dropping his food. He glared at Hercules, who was grinning at him (and was also soaking and shivering). "Stooop! I could've dropped my croissant!" Herc planted a kiss on his forehead and laughed.

"You still love me~" He teased, then slinked past him to the dining room.

Lafayette rolled his eyes, and walked up the stairs to gather the rest of his housemates.

~

"Hey, Alex." John greeted as he passed him to use the bathroom. Alex smirked, and subtly slipped his foot in front of John's feet, making him trip into his arms. "Aah! Alex, what the fuck?" He frowned at him.

"Did you just 'FALL for me', John?" Alex teased. John giggled into Alex's shoulder for a moment.

"I hate you." He grinned, then slipped into the bathroom. 

Thomas, who witnessed the whole thing, walked over to Alex. "How do you do that so smoothly?"

"What, have you never teased James before? Are you sure you're a happy couple?" Alex shot at him. Thomas glared at him.

"Wh-what!? Of course we are! I've... I've..." Thomas paused, realizing that he never _had_ teased James. Surprisingly ever. "Fine! I'll have to prove it." He huffed, then walked off to find his boyfriend. _How dare he! I'll show him! _

He found James in his room, behind a desk, writing papers, bags under his eyes. Thomas suddenly felt butterflies in his stomach. _I probably shouldn't bother him..._ Too late. James noticed him, and smiled weakly at him.

"Um..." Thomas thought for a moment. "Work keep you up last night?"

"No, just my anxiety and depression." James shrugged, then turned back to his work.

"What?"

"Ah! Nothing. I'm kind of busy right now, so could you... um..." James trailed off looking back down at his papers nervously. Thomas felt his heart dissolve. He glanced back in the hallway, where Alex stood grinning smugly as if to say 'I told you so'. Thomas glared at him and turned back to James. He walked over to him, and glomped him. James's face immediately turned red. "U-uh..."

Thomas rested his chin on James's head. "I love you, y'know. I'm sure your work can wait."

"Well, it's kinda i-important, and, um..." He jolted when Thomas's hand brushed against his side. He immediately stood, and took Jefferson's hands in his, a flustered look on his face. "Ihavealotofworktodobye!" And with that, he pushed Thomas out the door.

"But-" Before he could finish, James slammed the door in his face. A smirk spread across Thomas's face, slowly growing into a devilish grin. "Oho, well that was certainly... interesting."

"Be careful with what you're planning." Alex warned him. "John accidentally bruised my jawbone once trying to escape."

"I'm willing to take that risk." Thomas sighed. "After all, you seem to have no problem with it either."

"Oh, so is this all to prove something to _me_?" Alex smirked sleazily. "If I were you, I'd be more worried about your relationship." Thomas paused, then looked at the ground, as if searching for something. He did a full turn, then dropped to all fours, and looked under a side table in the hall. 

"Huh."

"Um, what're you looking for?" Alex asked. Thomas stood, brushed himself off, and grinned at Alex smugly.

"Where I asked for your opinion."

"OOOOHHHH!!!!" John screamed, bursting out of the bathroom, blowing an airhorn three times, as Thomas put on a pair of sunglasses. "BUUUUUUUUUUUURN!!!" Alex face palmed and sighed.

"Why are you like this. Come on." Alex lifted John over his shoulder and walked away. John exchanged a thumbs up with Thomas.

Thomas chuckled to himself, and turned back to James's closed door. He tapped on it in the rhythm of 'Ten Duel Commandments' until James opened his door.

"What is it now-!" Thomas grabbed James and pulled him into a deep kiss, and backed him up onto his bed. He parted from a very flustered James, who was now beneath Thomas, blinking absentmindedly, his face beet red. "Wha...?" He then noticed his position. "T-Thomas, no! I'm busy!"

"I know~" Thomas grinned, teasingly poking James in the stomach, making him squirm.

"C-can we talk about this?" James pleaded, trying to back away, without success. "Please?"

Thomas pretended to think about it, then grinned. "Are you scared, Madison?"

James averted his gaze. "I-I'm not _scared_, per se... I'm m-more... concerned about getting work done?" He gave a nervous smile, his hands on Thomas's shoulders as if ready to push him away at a moment's notice.

Thomas didn't dignify that with a response, and instead frowned down at him. "Come on, everyone needs a break every now and then."

"I-I'll take a break! Just get off me, and I'll take a break! I promise!" James offered, trying already to push him off.

"Mhm, and the moment I turn my back, you'll go right back to it." Thomas predicted. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Just then, Peggy wandered by the door and glanced in. "Um... you could at least close the door." She teased, grinning sleazily. James looked at her with a pleading expression.

"Please help me." He half whispered. She gave a sympathetic smile, and then shut the door.

"Nice try, boi." Thomas grinned, poking him again.

James glared at him. "Seriously, stop. This isn't funny."

"Well I personally find it hilarious." Thomas grinned. "Come on, you can't've hidden it from me forever, you know." James looked away, pouting. _Oh GOD, he's adorable._ Thomas thought.

Without further hesitation, he pulled James into a tight bear hug, and assaulted his sides. James shrieked, surprising Thomas, then immediately burst into the most adorable giggles Thomas had ever heard.

"Goodness, _that_ was a noise!" Thomas teased.

"SHUHUHUHUT UP!!!" James shouted, louder than Thomas thought he was capable of. "Plehehehease stahahahahahap!!" He tried to wiggle out of Thomas's grip, but Thomas then blew a raspberry in his neck, making James laugh harder, as well as struggle harder. He was surprisingly strong for his smaller size, Thomas noticed. But Thomas was stronger. "Thohahahahamas!!!"

"What's wrong? Weren't you going to take a break anyway?" Thomas said. He couldn't help but laugh along with James. He switched to his stomach, and James threw his head back into Jefferson's neck. "'Fraid you're not tall enough to do that, James.

"Fuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuck!!" James cursed, thrashing against Thomas's hold. He pushed with his feet, rolling over Thomas, and out of his grip. 

Just when he thought he'd escaped, Thomas tackled him again, and pinned him stomach down, and continued to tickle said stomach, while James fought to escape. 

"You didn't think I'd let you go so easily, did you?" Thomas teased. 

"Plehehehease stahahap! I cahahan't tahahake ihihihit!!!" James pleaded breathlessly. 

Thomas poked him once more in the stomach, but finally let him crawl away to catch his breath in the corner. "So..." Thomas started after a minute. "You gonna take a break?"

James raised his head and glared at his boyfriend. "Mff, I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing." He huffed.

Thomas paused, then grinned at James. "BUT'CHA DIDN'T." James put his head back in his hands and sighed.

"I suppose that's true..." He muttered.

"Come on, you know you love me~" Thomas teased, walking over to the corner James was pouting in and putting his arms around hims again. James flinched. "Oh calm down, I'm done."

"I've heard those words before, I know all too well you are never 'done'." James mumbled, but leaned back into Thomas.

"Okay, I'm done for _now_." He corrected himself. They were silent for a moment. "You know, you're really cute when you laugh. Why have I never heard it before now?"

James blushed. "I hate you."

"No you don't~"

"WHY NOT!?"

~Somewhere Else (Specifically, The Kitchen)~

Alex stood next to the counter, watching as Lafayette showed Hercules and John crazy shit no one should be able to do, or ever _should_ do. When they heard the sound of glass breaking.

"_MON AMI_, VHAT ZE HELL!?!" Lafayette shouted, clocking Hercules in the head.

"Ow... I'm sorry!" He laughed, holding up a frying pan in defense. In one second flat, Lafayette wacked it out of his hands and held it away from him.

"_Non_, you're not! If you were, you wouldn't be laughing!" He pointed out, putting the frying pan on the counter.

"Calm down, Laf-" John cut off the moment he took a step forward. "Shit." Lafayette looked at the glass John just stepped in.

"And zis is why we vear shoes in ze kitchen, John." he sighed. "_Monsieur_," he turned to Alex. "Could you tend to your _copain_?"

"On it." Alex nodded, lifting John in his arms, and leaving the kitchen.

"_Sacre bleu_..." Lafayette muttered. Hercules threw an arm around him.

"Daaamn..." He grinned. "Look at how easily he carried Laurens off."

"_Que diable_?" Lafayette narrowed his eyes. "Vat does zat have to do viz anyzing?"

"You'd probably kill me if _I_ did that." Hercules laughed.

"_Ne quittez pas_." Lafayette hushed him, going to the frying pan to flip the pancake in there. "Now watch." He threw the pancake in the air, did a forward roll, and caught it in the pan, flipped over. "_Voila_."

"WOO!!" Hercules shouted. "Who's got the best boyfriend? This guy!" He pointed two thumbs at himself. Lafayette rolled his eyes. 

"_Oui, oiu_, calm down." He said flatly, glancing around. "Ve wouldn't vant to start _z__at_ argument again, vould ve?"

"I would totally win this time!" Hercules persisted.

"No vone won last time, vhat makes you zink zis vould be any different?" Lafayette pointed out, putting the frying pan back on the stove. He took a broom and pan, held the pan up by his foot, and swept the remaining glass into said pan. When he bent over to pick it up, he heard Hercules chuckle. "Very mature,_ blaireau_."

"I have no idea what that means." Herc sighed.

"Good." Lafayette replied, dumping the glass in the garbage. "Maybe you'll learn one day, but by then I'll be in France."

"Wait, what?" Hercules paused. "What do you mean 'you'll be in France'?"

"Nevermind." He sighed, turning back to Hercules.

"No, not nevermind, what do you mean? You're not going back to France, are you?"

"Well..."

"Do I need to..." Hercules put an arm around Lafayette's waist "_convince_ you to stay?"

"_MERDE NON_!!" Lafayette exclaimed, leaning away, laughing.

"Are you sure-"

"_Oui_!_ Oui_!" He nodded. 

"Okay, fine." Herc sighed, cocking his eyebrow at Lafayette's nervous grin. "_Monsieur le Juge_."

Lafayette opened and closed his mouth a few times, blushing. "_Non_." He finally sputtered.

Hercules laughed. "I know, I know, I'm sorry."

"_Casse couille_." Lafayette muttered, rolling his eyes.

They were silent for a moment.

"But seriously, you're not going back to France, _are_ you?" Hercules asked quietly.

"I'm still not sure. But I might." Lafayette sighed in response.

~Somewhere Else~

"You know, I always get the vibe that you hate me." Alex said while James continued to work (because Thomas had left the house).

"What? Me? Hate you?" He put the pen down, and looked Alex dead in the eyes. "You're right." And then went back to working.

"O...kay..." Alex said slinking away. "Kill me." He muttered.

"Okay!" Burr said, pooping out of nowhere. "How do you want me to do it? Like now? Or-"

"OKAY DAMN!!" Alex shouted. "SHIT!"

"What's with all the yelling out here?" John asked, coming down the hallway.

"Nobody likes me..." Alex whined, tackling John with a hug. John laughed, petting the top of Alex's head.

"Good thing _I'm_ a nobody then!" He grinned.

Burr sighed at the two of them, and went to go find a book to read or something, leaving the two of them alone.

Meanwhile, inside the study, with the door wide open, James had stopped working. He had heard everything, and was now concerned about his and Thomas's relationship. And regret how he was about it.

"JAMES!!" Someone shouted from the doorway, making him jump as they slammed the door into the wall.

"Hello, Peggy." James sighed, looking up from his papers.

"Aw..." She pouted. "I thought I'd find you doing something _other_ than work." She grinned slyly. "Isn't that what _Thomas_ convinced you not to do?" James's face warmed.

"Did you need something?" He asked.

"Oh! Yes. I wanted to show you this crazy cool trick I learned." James sighed again as Peggy came over to the desk, swept everything off it, and put her phone down in the center of the desk. "Now watch the magic." She took out her charger plugged one end into the phone, and then the other in her nose.

"Peggy, what the fu-" He stopped when he heard the ping of her phone turning on. He stared down at it. "How did you find this out?"

"Oh..." She grinned and chuckled. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know." She scooped up her phone again and ran out the door again. "C'YA!!"

_That might've been the most random thing I have seen all day. _James thought as he watched her leap out an open window as Angelica came into view. They were on the first floor, so James wasn't very concerned. He went on his knees and began to pick up all the paper and books and the computer that Peggy had so rudely swept off the desk.

As he reached for the last piece of paper, someone gently smacked his ass. He squeaked and accidentally threw everything he was holding at the person as he rolled onto his back. "THOMAS WHY!?" He exclaimed upon seeing his boyfriend double over laughing.

"You shoulda seen your face! That was _so_ worth the reaction!" Thomas laughed. Once he calmed down, he looked around. "Wait a moment. What's with all the papers and stuff? You weren't _working_, were you?"

"What? N-no..." James said sheepishly. Thomas cocked an eyebrow. "I-I was just o-organizing! -Is all. Then Peggy came by and threw everything on the floor, so I was j-just cleaning it up! That's all, I swear!"

"James." Thomas said, crouching down to look him in the eye. "Has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible liar?"

James started to back away, not taking his wide eyes off Thomas as he did. "Thomas, I know what you're thinking, and don't you dare."

"Too late!" Thomas exclaimed, pouncing like a cheetah attacking its prey.

"NOOOOO!!"

~Outside the Study~

Peggy closed the door on the two of them, and put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob. She'd been the one who'd told Thomas where James was, because she thought the two of them were the most hilarious pair in the world. Even more so than Alex and John, which was saying a lot.

She then slunk off to go find her sisters, who were in the room the three of them shared. The bedrooms were all shared by two or more people; The Schuyler Sisters, Alex and Phillip, Lafayette Hercules and John, Thomas and James(although James spent most nights in the study), and then Aaron and the Theodosias. Each room had two beds. And they were all on the second floor except for The Schuyler Sisters' room, which was on the third floor, by the stairs.

Anyway, once she arrived, the three sisters closed the door to have their 'Special Sister Time', which was actually just watching anime and shipping different characters, and then fangirling afterwards. They only ever were like this around each other, even the Theodosias. (apart from the occasion that they are invited to 'Special Sister Time'.

They usually ended up finishing a series in a week or so. This week, they were starting an anime called 'Princess Tutu'. Peggy had chosen from their closet of billions of anime they randomly ordered, and this is what happened.

The first disc was put in their TV, and the girls lay lazily on their beds with tons of snacks watching the beginning. It began with a duck. A little duck who wished to become human. And that she did. A human girl named Duck.

"Aww..." The girls cooed as she fed the birds on her windowsill. And then some girl burst in shouting about how she was going to be late, and off they went.

"Seems like every other anime." Angelica shrugged. And then the ballet instructor arrived. "...And there's a character from 'Cats'."

"Shh!" Eliza shushed her.

They got to the part where Rue was introduced, and it seemed to piss Angelica off.

"Bitch!" She hissed. Peggy giggled. "She better die later in the show."

"Angelica!" Eliza exclaimed.

"Maybe she'll turn out to be nice-" Peggy was cut of as they heard Rue say something rude and bitchy. "...aaaand she's a fake little bitch."

"SHUTUPJUSTWATCH!" Eliza barked through grit teeth.

~Somewhere Less Boring~

"BITCH!!" Theo shouted suddenly. Theodosia and Burr blinked at her for a minute.

"Theo, what?" Aaron said, squinting at her in disbelief. Next to him, Theodosia glared at her.

"Where did you learn such _LANGUAGE_?!" She demanded.

"I was walking past the... the book room, and the door was closed, so I put my ear to the door, and I heard someone shout that." She explained innocently. Theodosia turned to Aaron.

"The only person I saw in there was James. But Thomas was heading there, so... maybe he startled the fu..." He stopped midsentence, looking at Theo. "Er, startled the _heck_ out of him... or something..."

"Mommy, what does 'bitch' mean, anyway?" Theo asked.

"It's a very rude term you should never use." She responded at the same time as Aaron said: "A female dog." They looked at each other.

"Why is a female dog a rude term?" Theo asked.

"You're too young." Theodosia said sternly.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, I was terrified to post this, but I decided that Ao3 is a great community and it wouldn't be hated.


End file.
